SHOOTERS’ EPIC FAIL

5 Nov

“Maybe one day you can review Shooters “

Shooters Marketing, expat.ru forum

‎”Nein, Sankt Pauli are shit,

we are Russian hooligan, White Power”

Viktor, patron, Shooters Bar

“This is, without a doubt,

a bar with a big reputation”

TIP researcher


The TIP team never turn down an offer to drink, but in the city where everything can be bought, or beaten out of you, how do they keep their moral integrity? and bring you the most honest reviews this side of the border? They have a 5 step plan:

1: turn up unannounced

2: stay unannounced and order (or try)

3: evaluate

4: survive hangover

5: review

And this is indeed how things went last night. Shooters and Shooters expat.ru members work hard to not let any single individual who goes on the forum forget this bar’s name. We came here with expectations, 80% of the tables booked, at least 89 people, not counting the bar staff, according to information from the source. Friday nights are supposed to be the wildest – so the TIP decided to head on out there and find out what all the fuss is about.

Shooters, the one thing Irish and English can agree on

What to expect: Exceptionally this will include the usually separate staff, clientèle and refreshments review

We should have known better

Expect to walk at good 10min to 15min to get to the bar, this will depend on your footwear. You can get a cab, but let’s be honest, a bar that advertises 100rub cocktails is not a bar that attracts people who will pay for a taxi when they can take the metro. Every other building you pass, you will be convinced it’s Shooters, imagining gaudy neon lights flashing like broken traffic lights. In fact, you must turn off the road and walk past another bar/restaurant thing which you will think is Shooters, until you arrive at a nondescript wooden door. Go down the stairs and turn to your left. You will spy the bar at the back of large room. Separating you from this bar is a gargantuan collection of sturdy wooden tables and chairs. There is a reason we can tell you the furniture is sturdy, we could see it, all of it. The promised patrons looking for an exciting night on the town obviously found something better to do.

On the plus side, we were honoured by a unique peek into one of Moscow’s most famous ethnic minorities: the drunk white power nazi skinhead. Not one, not two, not ten, but a whole nest of them, eager to share their insight into English football with 2 English speakers – apparently here, it is all about colour of skin, not country of origin. Enlightened by their teachings, we were however slightly distracted by their drunk leering and persistent attempts to feel up the TIP members of staff.

“A little less conversation, a little more action”

Elvis Presley

The service: We arrived at 10pm, we got our drinks at 10.40pm. There were 2 people working on the bar. I must correct myself, this is an erroneous statement – chatting to the clientele would be a more  true to life description. The TIP are glad to see that the Shooters staff really appreciate the value of networking and building client relationships. We also bore the wild hope that they would maybe pencil in our drinks on their blackberry schedules though. After 30 minutes of leaning over the bar, trying to get some attention whilst fending off racist skinheads, we resorted to timing our departure. We promptly decided to wait another 5minutes and make a run for it if we were still without drinks at, what was advertised as, one of the greatest bars in Moscow.

Luck be a sly lady, the barman eventually removed his elbows for the counter and deigned to take our order, two 100rub cocktails as promised. The drinks arrived another 20minutes later despite the rapidly dwindling patronage, time during which we considered leaving again. By this time, I could already feel my youth slipping away from me and lo and behold, we now had the bar tender’s attention. Consistent in his endeavours to be inconsistent – and rude – the bar tender then returned every 3 minutes to ask us to pay. Request which received the same treatment as us during our repetitive attempts to order – general indifference.

The only saving grace of this evening were the 2 other misguided expats which stumbled into this truly unique museum of Russian service and over advertising. New to the city, they had discovered Shooters on the forum, as did we. We stayed for one more drink, so another hour by the time it arrived, and a bit of witty banter.

The TIP and their 2 new friends upped sticks and headed back towards civilisation,

leaving the bad memories back in Shooters, along with the bad service.

Where? We are taking a leaf out of their book. We can’t really be bothered to tell you. Check out their website if you really want to. You can google it. The menu might be on there too, we are saving our breath and keyboarding typing finger muscles for the good places.

The positive sides of this experience:

We must compliment Shooters on their advertising strategy – they had us fooled!

We had a good night – in other bars (Bourbon Street – Propaganda – Pirogi, links to reviews below)

We only spent 200rubs each in Shooters

We discovered what true post-Soviet-regime-collapse service was really like

The less positive sides of this experience:

We may have indeed just thrown away 3 hours of our life and we had to walk 15mins in the cold to do so

We spent 200rub on a taxi to somewhere better

We were harassed by white supremacist skinheads who appeared to be regulars – they were spread over 5 tables throughout the bar

We have the obligation to write this review because it needs to be said but we also know that the TIP will rapidly become persona non grata with a certain amount of expats

This is where we went afterwards – and a few other editor-approved recommendations

For a beer:

Bourbon Street- https://theinternationalpotatoe.wordpress.com/2011/10/19/bourbon-street-naked-girls-and-live-bands/

Booze Bub- https://theinternationalpotatoe.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/booze-bub-the-best-bar-in-moscow/

For some late night shananigans:

Rolling Stone: https://theinternationalpotatoe.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/rolling-stone-bar-and-tattoo/

Propaganda: https://theinternationalpotatoe.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/propaganda-its-right-up-our-street/

For post-clubbing sustanance:

Pirogi: https://theinternationalpotatoe.wordpress.com/2011/10/19/pirogi-is-all-grown-up-welcome-to-na-stretenka/

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PROPAGANDA. It’s right up our street

4 Nov

“If you were hoping for red army choir songs and some washed up KGB puffing on a cuban in the back, try the Lubyanka building next door”

Bouncer, Propaganda Security Staff

“Propaganda is a bit like forced marriage, you get used to it after a while”

My Mum


   Now this is a tricky one. There are these places, every so often, that you inevitably get dragged to    because your friends like them. You hate it the first time. Too smoky, too many people, terrible        music (house music, the worst). Then you return there another freezing winter evening, and you      still hate it, for all the above reasons and because, this time, they make you queue! The third time,    you have to look after your own coat, and you get in the wrong queue at the coat check, the fourth    time, you watch 30minutes of your life trickle down the bathroom sink whilst waiting to relieve          yourself. So there is only one true question to ask yourself:

Am I a masochist?

Going to Propaganda for the TIP team is a bit like being married off for cattle, without the economic windfall. No one wants to be forced into marriage, but maybe, after a few years, a certain bond of resignation and complacency will set in, and the aversion to the original event will be less.

Propaganda is a normal Moscow club, if there actually is such a thing: the sweaty milling club turns into a café with a “bizness lanch” by day. The people who come here are trendy, fashionable, pretty, not rolling in the money by any standard but definitely living above the norm.

It was so crowded, clubbers were requested to raise their arms to let in more women

1000 rubles – 1 mighty hangover?

Drinks and food are well priced according to their website. Any main course goes for 200 – 300 rub, they serves salads, meat, soup, the usual club menu. Grolsch is the most expensive beer on their menu, selling at the measely sum of 180 rub/500ml – you can’t go wrong at that, you can even get a Bochka (500ml) for 120 rub. Vodka-redbull is the usual 250rub and a whiskey-coke, a mere 210rub. There are prices for everybody at Propaganda, the only obstacle are the 150people already blocking your access to the bar. BUT – Don’t be fooled, apparently the prices go up after 11pm, but you probably won’t notice it. As with everybody who goes there, you will wake up the next day and wonder what happened to your cash.

The music will divide the placid of souls – if you like house music, you will love it here. If you think house music is just noise, welcome to the dark side. Dancing can be complicated considering that if you weigh anymore than 35kg you might have trouble fitting through the 3mm gaps that allow the air to circulate between bodies. And if you panic, just follow Jim Morrisson’s best advice and “break on through to the other side.” If not, you may never leave.

The decor? This journalist has never seen Propaganda flaunt its stuff in the daylight – but it’s safe to say that there will be some very unsurprising wooden furniture and a slightly smoky aura surrounding the dancefloor which accomodates these carpentry exploits.

Conclusion: despite harbouring a strong dislike of this club in the beginning, which has progressively waned to simple animosity, this journalist has finally accepted the reality of this situation:

If you are partying on the right end of Myasnitskaya Ulitsa, you will most likely end up in Propaganda.

Sometimes, we just have to accept our fate, dance the alcohol out of our systems, replenish and when we get bored, head next door to Pirogi for a well deserved breakfast and cheesy 90’s music.

Good to know: 

– Loose feis control, but feis control all the same – please don’t wear trainers

– Walk past the line and up to the bouncer speaking English and looking presentable, this usually gets you in. Usually…

– Get there before eleven to enjoy a meal and at the same time, grab a table for the evening!

– Every night has a theme, listings are on their website

– Russian language not required, just lean as for over the counter and yell the name of your drink

– The gender scale is never quite balanced, generally it’s either a majority of girls or majority of guys, good luck!

– There is a gay night – no women allowed – this is on Sunday (we think)

Where: Bolshoi Zlatoustinskiy Pereulok, Dom 7

Metro: Kitai Gorod – 3 minutes

Check them out http://www.propagandamoscow.com/about/

Check out this page for individual impressions and opposing views on Propanda:

http://www.moscow-life.com/drink/pubs_cafes_details/9-Propaganda

For example:

Awesome food, venue, sound system and music. The girls are indescribably hot but they’re all ice maidens. Just go to eat, drink and dance and you’ll have a great time. 

OR

 It’s a club for students I think. If you dont have anything to do, you can visit but it’s a small place and cannot find so much top class girls. You will see lots of small girls who are trying to steal your drink  


***These prices are based on their menu, the TIP doesn’t accept responsibility for erroneous pricing or erroneous judgement.

HADJA NASREDDIN – Shashlik, Belly dancers and Vodka – what’s not to like?

3 Nov

“I was told you got the whole experience here…

no one told me I was going to be sat on a cushion and distracted every 30minutes by half dressed girls”

Disgruntled Geriatric

Originally planning to “do a TIP”, meet at Pirogi, have some food, some drinks and then move on to the “party” places anywhere between Sukharevskaya and Kitai Gorod – the editorial Team had a change of heart, and decided that today, on the anniversary of the Chief’s 25 years alive, they would actually go out and splash all that hard earned money they won at monopoly. HADJA NASSREDIN was the second step of our voyage which would bring us from the depths of Chistie Prudy all the way down to the end of Myasnitskaya Ulitsa. Who could have imagined that so much fun resided in such a small part of this huge city. Meeting for beers separately due to a misunderstanding, half met a Cuba Libre for a quick mojito whilst the Editor and Chief Critic headed to Booze Bub for some cherry strudel and the best cosmopolitans in the city – or so they say. Hardly 2 minutes for the former, and 7min from the latter, we all met mid way on Pokrovka Ulitsa at Hadja Nassredin.

This is a bargain – it should not be missed.

What to expect: Even the entrance to this place is, as promised, traditional and part of the “whole experience”. The coat check guy has even grown a magnificent handle bar moustache to make you feel comfortable even after you have taken off your shoes to perch upon a cushion. Or not, they seem to have more standard tables in the middle. After a certain amount of time climbing up and down some stairs, making a quick break to the toilet before the removal of the shoes (it is probably as far away as Cuba Libre), the removing of the shoes and the getting comfortable on the cushions, you can settle in and enjoy everything this place has to offer, and this is quite a bit. There are real birds in cages, real belly dancers who appear every 30min or so, really nice staff and as real an Uzbek décor as can be found in the heart of Moscow.

Food and drink: Wine and vodka (separately of course, TIP staff only mix with beer). Russian Standard or whatever vodka you may choose, is served in little jugs and your shot glass is topped up every time by a member of staff – so your break between the first and the second will inevitably and culturally correctly “ne bolshoi”. Don’t forget the MOPC (sweetened cranberry and berry juice), 3 types to choose from, to wash it down. The wine is served in big wine glasses as it should.

The food, well, the TIP team didn’t actually see the menu and a group order was placed by our Russian advisors and regulars (they have a 10% discount card here), to save us staring at the menu and then thinking that everybody else’s meal was better. In conclusion, no one got any plov, we opted for everything on a stick instead. Chicken and pork shaslik, grilled to perfection, juicy and tender, grilled potatoes on a skewer, far from bland which I would have happily eaten on its own and mixed grilled vegetables upon the Editor’s request (eggplant, tomato, pepper). Get some of their traditional baked bread with cheese to start of the meal and to wipe the last juices of the meat off the plate with!

“I would have happily devoured the potato, with the skewer, had I been served nothing else –

and I would still have enjoyed this place”

The service: excellent by European standards, well presented in a traditional dress/uniform thing which is pleasing and colourful. It may not be traditional but it certainly convinced us!  Friendly and, moreover, patient whilst we spent 30 min changing measurements of vodka to be served and including her in the debate. Apparently she had a little English, but this night the TIP did it Russki style, therefore never took the full measure of her linguistic abilities. Belly dancers, one blond for the western Russian lovers and one brunette, more Eastern – they appear regularly for a 5min dance and then leave you to it – just enough to be entertaining without being annoying.

Average price per head, for a decent meal, shashlik, potatoes, bread, vegetables, 1 bottle of wine and 1lt of Russian Standard was about1700 rub per head – we were expecting a lot more – with our discount card ~(this takes a few weeks to prepare) we paid 1500 per person. This is a bargain – it should not be missed.

Things to know:

Full cyrillic name: ХОДЖА НАСРЕДДИН В ХИВЕ

You must book a table in advance, ask a Russian speaker to do it, or go there yourself, they are very nice – they probably won’t shout at you. You can also do it online apparently, top right hand corner of their website, beside the button to put it in English.

If you are in a group of 4 or more, book a window perch, overlooking the rest of the restaurant, belly dancers. This is where the cushions are at – or settle for a more standard form of seating in the central section where large groups come to celebrate their birthdays and life achievements.

Wear nice socks!

Where: Pokrovka 10, str 2

Metro: equal distance between Chistie Prudy and Kitai Gorod (10mins)

http://nasreddinhiva.ru/

Booze Bub – the best bar in Moscow?

1 Nov

“There is plenty of room for your pet bear on the bar”

“This is Cheers, just without Woody Harrelson”

Kelsey Grammer

Well, the TIP Review Team are faced with a challenge today, that of writing a review without having to decide whether they like this place or not. The answer is a resounding “yes” and the criticism seems hard to come by! In layman’s terms, this is without a doubt a great place to go for a drink, many drinks, even a whole night out, as the Editor In Chief recently discovered. Upon hearing the name, Booze Bub, the latter was understandably doubtful. This denomination is inevitably as culturally far from the TIP’s point of origin as the North Pole is from the South. This may be the only weakness they have managed to whittle out of the wooden bar that is BB’s.

What to expect: again, wooden furniture (of which Moscow bars have no lack) but a gay array of large comfortable looking tables, adept receivers of the regulars, couples, groups, strangers – minus the lecherous and the dirty. More importantly, BB has an excellent bar, large comfortable, good sturdy stools to receive as many beer lover’s engorged bellies and behinds as could be desired. The counter is large and you can easily catch a little shut-eye without disrupting neither patrons nor staff. A large badger would also fit on there, but they are hard to come by in these parts.

“Where everybody knows your name…

and if they don’t, they soon will”

Ted Danson

What to drink / eat: the TIP staff, despite their now regular appearance in these parts, has only seen the menu on their first trip there. Incidently, this is the only time they had a meal here – generally getting waylaid by the infectious camaraderie which abounds from all corners of the bar. The shashlik was good! and served with a healthy (be it annual) serving of onions. Prices were average, from about 250/300rub. They also serve burgers and, what we can imagine to be the standard Muscovite bar menu. The team have inevitably already made a worthy attempt at trying most of the drinks on offer. You will find good English beers on draught (London Pride, etc) and even cider (many times better than the general flat, insipid half pints we are served in some places). Cocktails have been referred to by independent and anonymous sources as the best in the city thanks to one special member of staff. Cosmos, bloody marys, and pretty much anything you could possibly desire can be arranged.

This is what the bar looks like when it's NOT open

The staff: Well this is definitely the most unusual trait of this bar. Number one, the 3 guys behind the bar are actually helpful, efficient even drole, to a point where the Editor was offered the only cake and candle she saw throughout 3 days of life experience celebration. Cheery cherry strudel which didn’t go amiss on gaining point with the TIP chief. And, yes, if you have been to Booze Bub, you will know The Barman, possibly, oor at least according to rumour, “the best barman in the city” and according to himself, “the best cocktail guy this side of the Pacific.” Every newcomer will inevitably be introduced to all the people holding up the bar by Pete, THE barman, in a loud, yet strangely unintrusive and unquestionably warm way.

Who should come here? At the TIP, we would encourage everybody to stop by and enjoy this place. It’s warm, it’s friendly, it plays good old pop rock, rock, pop, even the Clash! Good grub, good drinks, impeccable service, clean toilets, good music … Can we say anymore?

If you still need convincing, go there now, or leave Moscow

because you probably won’t find any place better that Booze Bub!

———-

And if you already know BB’s, follow the TIP for the forthcoming super exclusive and always politically incorrect interview of 

“Pete, the most famous barman in Moscow?”

For all the info on this bar, drinks, food, etc. check out their website:

http://www.boozebub.ru/

Where? Potapovskii Pereulok, dom 5 – nearest Metro Chistie Prudy (5min walk)

Easy Plov for Easy People – Russian cuisine for idiots

1 Nov

Why do Manchester boys love plov so much?”

International correspondant – TIP

Fancy a plov? Do it yourself - speedy plov for adventurous foreigners

 

 

THE TIP TEAM WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE UZBEK NATION FOR THEIR HELP ON THIS PROJECT 

Every visit to an ex-soviet republic with a Brit inevitably concludes with them choosing Plov over anything else. Now the TIP team has only ever had plov twice – once was out of a fridge at the local Ashan, a very big disappointment indeed, chewy meat with a distinct odour – and once more, made by a Russian friend of the TIP family, who omitted to inform them that, indeed, they were eating the famous “plov” these Muscovite rookies had heard so much about.

Between to jobs this afternoon and with too much time on their hands – the TIP Gourmet team resisted procrastination’s eyelash fluttering and bought some in-season vegetables. Whilst wandering around the shop, they also decided to buy some plov spices – fully intent on looking up the recipe to make a plov to be remembered.

As per usual, the TIP staff’s inability to do an honest day’s work and a good job dissuaded them from recipe research… and the inevitable disappointment, upon opening the cupboards and fridge, to discover how many ingredients they didn’t have. Armed with unshakeable confidence in their gastronomical talents and an innate sense of self importance, our resourceful team of misfits ventured down the unknown road into culinary fireworks history.

Notes from the TIP Gourmet Kommanda’s diary:

This recipe is entirely IMPROVISED and engineered to make EASY AUTUMN PLOV.

Essentials:

1/2 glass (tumbler) of rice

2 teaspoons of plov spices

1/2 chicken stock cube

water

Optional but recommended:

 

– seasonal vegetables

500gr squash or pumpkin, peeled and chopped into dice size cubes (otherwise known as diced)

1 medium tomato, diced

1 red (or green or yellow) pepper, diced

1 small leek, cut lengthwise and chopped roughly

 

– meat (reduce portion of squash to 250g lest your frying pan overflow)

500gr  lamb, diced,

Bearing in mind, this plov is all about you so go ahead, replace the lamb by Russian hard cheese (it is nearly impossible to melt), or tofu for vegetarians, beef, chicken … potentially even shrimp, like ouzbek paella, fish appears to be the most unlikely ingredient/

 

How to:

1 -Prepare all ingredients and lump them into a frying pan (non stick, no oil) all together.

2 -Crumble the stock cube over the mixture.

3- Add the 2 heaped teaspoons of plov spices on top of that .

4- Pour on water (hot water make it cook faster): fill approximately 2/3 of the frying pan. Mix everything around until roughly homogeneous, this is mainly to get the spices and rice mixed in properly.

5- Cover with a suitable lid or large plate. Put on medium heat until boiling, move to lower heat and simmer for 30min, stirring occasionally so it doesn’t stick and so that the rice gets a chance to cook. When finished, there should be no obvious liquid in the pan.  Leave covered for another ten minutes OR eat as soon as the right temperature.

 

Recommended toppings for autumn English/Russian comfort food:

1 big dollop of smetana

1 tsp of adjika for those who like it spicy

Cover in grated cheese

Finely chopped fresh parsley

Dill – of course, didn’t you know this yet, dill goes with everything.

 

 

 

Here is a link to a real Plov recipe, should you dare to compare one day:

http://www.grouprecipes.com/34920/uzbek-lamb-plov-pilaf.html

 

Rolling Stone Bar – and tattoo?

31 Oct

“There are so many stairs in this place, you will leave looking here like a long term heroin addict”

It was to my great surprise that I discovered today, whilst writing this review, that Rolling Stone’s full title is Rolling Stone Bar and Tattoo… And confused I am because upon each visit, it is at least midnight and I have not seen one ounce of bloody drunken flesh, freshly decorated in the most permanent type of way.

This bar covers 2 floors and has a ridiculous amount of stairs. Upon receiving approval by the feisty face control bouncers, one must climb some cement steps to be searched (men only, bags for girls) by some more Russian snow patrol military outfitted bouncers, and then up some more to get to floor 1. As, dear reader, you may imagine, obesity is not tolerated – the bouncers got tired of extracting the enlarged party goers from the never ending stairwells and the rickety wooden steps.

Floor n.1:

The bar with the 70’s and 80’s style music, and a nice change from the house music clubs love so much. Expect to see a wily crowd of Russians and foreigners – decked out in their most casual chic for the men, and leopard print tight fitting dresses and killer heels for the ladies – bogeying down to a mild Michael Jackson remix or that carwash song ~( that goes “oh oh woh oh woh”, you know the one). Just the right amount of people to have a dance, a drink and meet some people who want to talk English. The coat check is behind the bar, look for the queue. The toilets are down past the DJ, right at the back, turn left when you enter and walk straight on, then turn right. It is indeed a big bar – dancing on it appears to be prohibited though. All the more reason to go upstairs!

Floor n.2:

Mission number one find the stairs. Directly behind the stairs you have walked up to enter the building, is the half hidden entrance to Rolling Stone’s most attractive feature. If you make it the 7 flights of stairs to get there, but women do it in heels so it is possible, though the more you drink, the harder it is to navigate the unequal distances between each step.

Upstairs you will be treated to an even bigger expanse of bar, 22 people long queues for the unisex toilets and the most spectacular views of that big church at Kropotkinskaya (Christ Savior my sources tell me, but they are often wrong) and the awesome Peter the Great Statue.

This bar only starts to get going about midnight – 1am, by 3 am, it would be physically impossible to swing a cat, though not illegal. This is where the pretty people come to play. Half way between posh and cool, it is also a big expat nest, from bankers to teachers, the whole spectrum is covered- expect to meet your Russian colleagues here. There is also a mini hotdog stand in the corner near the piano which is indeed functional. To rest your eyes while you queue with fellow sausage lovers, admire the female population which gave Moscow its reputation shake it on the bar or the stage. At the far end of the bar, just below the DJ, is where you can exchange money for sexual favours.

Downstairs bar - before the beautiful people arrive

Food and drink: food is served – vodka/redbulls (large) are about 270rub which is decent. Beers start from about 180rub. Prices in general are average Moscow prices, not cheap and not prohibitive – it is common to leave here at 6am 2,000 – 4,000 rub lighter than when you came in. But the TIP Team can guarantee you that you won’t regret not knowing where they went (a round for 4 people is about 1,000 rub).

And the tattoo parlour? The TIP Team has never stumbled upon the tattoo parlour, which is probably lucky considering their ability to make good decisions when inebriated. If anyone knows where it is – please do not inform the Editor.

Good to know:

Don’t get a taxi outside the door, you WILL spend 3/4 hour trying to get out of that street.

Do turn left when you exit the building and walk along the river for 5min, gypsy cab drivers hang out on the bridge waiting for you. They know what the clientele is so they will not be the cheapest.

Do put on your party dress if you are a girl.

Do put on a polo shirt / shirt and nice jeans if you are a guy – it is common to see men in suits here too.

There is face control, but they generally let us skip the queue when we speak English

Where: metro Kropotkinskaya, 3 Bolotnaya Naberezhnaya, bldg. 1

The TIP Team are not big on clubbing but this club deserves a fair mention, because it is the only one they will actually go to. Check out the Moscow Times review for a review by a more worldly expat.

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/guides/bar/eng/bars/424813.html

Celebrating Milk – with Alcohol Wilkommen to Club Milk

31 Oct

CLUB MILK meets LENINGRAD

“Friday October 28th I saw the REAL Moscow, the one you don’t see in expat bars, the one you don’t even see in Bourbon Street. This was the most authentic experience I have had in this country”

The Jaded Expat

This what it looks like without hundreds of Leningrad fans

Look at the above photo – now put about 3000 throbbing bodies on the dance floor, raise their arms, put some girls on people shoulders, and finally Dachniki by Leningrad – and there you have it. Club Milk is just off the road, behind a large gate. This gate was prised open by heaving masses on the first night of this iconic Russian band’s concert.

Leningrad was this good

“It was f****ing awesome man”

Nikolai Numpervitch

My opinion will and can only be completely biased by sheer awesomeness that Team TIP experienced that night. This is the first time I have seen some many Russians in one place, authentically let their hair down and f****ing go for it. It was punk, it was sweaty, it was real. I can honestly say that Friday October 28th I saw the REAL Moscow, the one you don’t see in expat bars, the one you don’t even see in Bourbon Street. This was the most authentic experience I have had in this country and even Nikolai Numpervitch* admitted that it was “f*****ing awesome man.” This is no small praise from a man who is the living definition of “work hard, party hard”, and generally dislikes everything.

The TIP Editor in Chief spent a majority of her time holding on the the pillar holding up the bar, being small, she discovered that she could hoist herself up by this means to observe the concert rather than the armpits of her fellow concert goers. It is worth remembering this bird’s eye view technique, if you too, arrive last into this club for the concert of the year.

“This is the type of place you put with the (non) service, because, for once, it’s not actually the bar staff’s fault”

The TIP Team

Service – hard to tell – it was justifiably rammed inside, not leaving the bar helped but it still took awhile to get beers. Beers were about 150rub for a half pint – but they were definitely very drinkable and getting them was such a mission that they were a more than perfect remedy to all the energy lost battling the crowds and vying for the attention of the bar staff.

Would TIP recommend this club? Definitely, if there is a concert you want to see – and you are sure this band have enough ecstatic fans to fill the huge dancefloor – get down there – without a doubt!

*Nikolai Numpervitch is not only one of Moscow’s best English teachers, but he is also the grumpiest English twat you could meet – and the TIP’s best critic, of course.

Where? Metro Ulitsa 1905, 7 minute walk – directions on their website, section Kontakti

http://www.milkclub.ru/