PROPAGANDA. It’s right up our street

4 Nov

“If you were hoping for red army choir songs and some washed up KGB puffing on a cuban in the back, try the Lubyanka building next door”

Bouncer, Propaganda Security Staff

“Propaganda is a bit like forced marriage, you get used to it after a while”

My Mum


   Now this is a tricky one. There are these places, every so often, that you inevitably get dragged to    because your friends like them. You hate it the first time. Too smoky, too many people, terrible        music (house music, the worst). Then you return there another freezing winter evening, and you      still hate it, for all the above reasons and because, this time, they make you queue! The third time,    you have to look after your own coat, and you get in the wrong queue at the coat check, the fourth    time, you watch 30minutes of your life trickle down the bathroom sink whilst waiting to relieve          yourself. So there is only one true question to ask yourself:

Am I a masochist?

Going to Propaganda for the TIP team is a bit like being married off for cattle, without the economic windfall. No one wants to be forced into marriage, but maybe, after a few years, a certain bond of resignation and complacency will set in, and the aversion to the original event will be less.

Propaganda is a normal Moscow club, if there actually is such a thing: the sweaty milling club turns into a café with a “bizness lanch” by day. The people who come here are trendy, fashionable, pretty, not rolling in the money by any standard but definitely living above the norm.

It was so crowded, clubbers were requested to raise their arms to let in more women

1000 rubles – 1 mighty hangover?

Drinks and food are well priced according to their website. Any main course goes for 200 – 300 rub, they serves salads, meat, soup, the usual club menu. Grolsch is the most expensive beer on their menu, selling at the measely sum of 180 rub/500ml – you can’t go wrong at that, you can even get a Bochka (500ml) for 120 rub. Vodka-redbull is the usual 250rub and a whiskey-coke, a mere 210rub. There are prices for everybody at Propaganda, the only obstacle are the 150people already blocking your access to the bar. BUT – Don’t be fooled, apparently the prices go up after 11pm, but you probably won’t notice it. As with everybody who goes there, you will wake up the next day and wonder what happened to your cash.

The music will divide the placid of souls – if you like house music, you will love it here. If you think house music is just noise, welcome to the dark side. Dancing can be complicated considering that if you weigh anymore than 35kg you might have trouble fitting through the 3mm gaps that allow the air to circulate between bodies. And if you panic, just follow Jim Morrisson’s best advice and “break on through to the other side.” If not, you may never leave.

The decor? This journalist has never seen Propaganda flaunt its stuff in the daylight – but it’s safe to say that there will be some very unsurprising wooden furniture and a slightly smoky aura surrounding the dancefloor which accomodates these carpentry exploits.

Conclusion: despite harbouring a strong dislike of this club in the beginning, which has progressively waned to simple animosity, this journalist has finally accepted the reality of this situation:

If you are partying on the right end of Myasnitskaya Ulitsa, you will most likely end up in Propaganda.

Sometimes, we just have to accept our fate, dance the alcohol out of our systems, replenish and when we get bored, head next door to Pirogi for a well deserved breakfast and cheesy 90’s music.

Good to know: 

– Loose feis control, but feis control all the same – please don’t wear trainers

– Walk past the line and up to the bouncer speaking English and looking presentable, this usually gets you in. Usually…

– Get there before eleven to enjoy a meal and at the same time, grab a table for the evening!

– Every night has a theme, listings are on their website

– Russian language not required, just lean as for over the counter and yell the name of your drink

– The gender scale is never quite balanced, generally it’s either a majority of girls or majority of guys, good luck!

– There is a gay night – no women allowed – this is on Sunday (we think)

Where: Bolshoi Zlatoustinskiy Pereulok, Dom 7

Metro: Kitai Gorod – 3 minutes

Check them out http://www.propagandamoscow.com/about/

Check out this page for individual impressions and opposing views on Propanda:

http://www.moscow-life.com/drink/pubs_cafes_details/9-Propaganda

For example:

Awesome food, venue, sound system and music. The girls are indescribably hot but they’re all ice maidens. Just go to eat, drink and dance and you’ll have a great time. 

OR

 It’s a club for students I think. If you dont have anything to do, you can visit but it’s a small place and cannot find so much top class girls. You will see lots of small girls who are trying to steal your drink  


***These prices are based on their menu, the TIP doesn’t accept responsibility for erroneous pricing or erroneous judgement.

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