Lessons in Life – уроки в жизнь

30 Apr

1 – ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS look down when walking during winter

2- Aspik IS disgusting, and believe some when they advise you against trying it at the all you can eat buffet at Yalki Polki, because that person is right, and you ARE wrong.

3- Syllable stress is key ПИсатъ (PIssat) is not the same as пиСАТЪ (piSSAT). Therefore unless you intend on unintentionally informing your listener of your strange urinophilic tendencies and not your love of writing, either avoid using these verbs or learn Russian.

4-  The words “eggs” ~ яйца ~ can be used as a synonym for testicles.

5- Never apologise, even if it’s your fault.

6- Being polite will get you nowhere.

7- Being rude may not get you much further, but it does make you feel better.

7 bis –  Abusing service staff in English is an excellent way to release accumulated tension, abusing them in Russian and you run the risk of being chased with pitchforks and cold war kalachnikovs, which would be okay if they hadn’t repatriated the whole army to Moscow to celebrate Victory Day next week.

8- According to a Russian proverb, people who smile too much are stupid – The TIP agrees,

9- секс = sex

10- Planning ahead went out of fashion with the NEP (1924) so put your common sense aside, go against every logical instinct, and you too, will fit in, like a fly on a meat patty.

Next week, the russian diet, cooking with Катерина and Vodka drinking with Владимир.

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